Final Fantasy : All The Bravest

Date Completed : 1/25/2013

Final Fantasy : All The Bravest might as well have been called Final Fantasy : All Your Money Are Belong to Us.  I’ve been a long time fan of the series and I have played almost all of the titles released in the US.  Long time fans all know that the series has been in a steady decline.  I once took the time to graph the decline of the series using data from gameranksings.com, which proves empirically what we all knew anyway.

FF:ATB is played exclusively with frantic tapping.  You have a huge team of Final Fantasy archetypes (Warriors, Mages, Dragoons) to send into battle against monsters.  You tap on a character to make it attack and after a short cool down you can tap again.  Each of your characters is knocked out with a single hit but every 3 minutes you get a character back.  The only skill that is required is to avoid hitting the buttons along the bottom of the screen that exit battle and send you into the bestiary or the social network menu.

As you play you level up and unlock additional character classes.  For 1$ you can pay to unlock a random character from previous FF games.  I paid 1$ thinking I could choose one of my favorites (I was hoping for Terra from FF6) but I was randomly given one of my least favorite characters of all time – Baltier from FF:XII.

Baltier is in the top right. I hate that guy.

My boys really enjoyed taking turns tapping on the enemies for me but the game play wasn’t enough to keep me interested.  I would have given up on the game shortly after purchasing it except I spent money on this game so damn it I was going to play it!  Luckily the game is really short and doesn’t really require any mental effort so I was able to breeze right through it.  After finishing the game additional maps can be purchased for 4$ each, but I can’t imagine why anyone would want to spend 4$ to play this game longer.

The game does have it’s redeeming value (In the singular sense).  The bestiary has descriptions that can be quite humorous.

Ninjas are always good for a laugh.

All of the content for this game would set a person back over 50$.  For $50 I can pre-order BioShock Infinite or Starcraft II : Heart of the Swarm.  No one on earth should spend 50$ for the privilege of tapping on Final Fantasy characters.

If you enjoy boring games, wasting money and hating life then this may be the game for you.  If you are a rational, sane human being there are much better games for cheaper on the App Store.

Pros

  • Bestiary is good for a few laughs.

Cons

  • Not Fun.
  • Costs 4$.
  • Randomly Unlocking a Characters costs 1$.
  • Unlocking additional levels costs 4$.
  • Buttons are easy to accidentally click while in battle.
Is it fun: No
Score: 1/10
Length:  2 hours
System: iOS
Genre: Casual / RPG
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